LoSt....=(

I was walking,
Keep on walking,
On an isolated path,
That wasnt pleasant,

I was alone,
And it was oblivious,
I felt a suddent gush of wind,
And i was shivering.

I know i am lost,
Lost in my own thought,
I know i am trapped,
Trapped with my own move.

All i need is a mere way,
Way to escape,
I know it isnt going to be easy,
But i Know i will find a way!

Inscrutable....

Loads of things have taken place, and i lost of words and time to blog in. I do feel sad for abondoning the blog, but lets keep it clear that, i am a total geek for the past days! Now i am back, i am totally into fulfilling my newly taken oath and vow.

I dont wanted to indulge in those matter which can be classified as 'expired' so let me tell you what i am currently up to! New semester have started, and being in my third year degree, its not fun, since studies getting harder and need loads of attention to it. Although its just the third week of semester, assignments alreadly piling up and i am rushing to meet deadlines.

Past have really made a big impact in my life. Wish that i could mend whatever i did in the past, but i know, there no point crying over a spilt milk. Whatever happened, happens for a good reason. So i just put it aside and carry on my life as it is! When i gaze back at what have i messed up, its so heart breaking. I term it as pure stupidity! Damn!

For now i have realised, that i am at the crossroad, where there is no turning point. The one and only thing that i can do is to have confidence in me and walk up straight. And i have faith in God. I know He will always hold me tight during the time i need Him the most. I am constantly trying to rectify my mistakes, after jeopardizing my life to just a mere fun event!

I am still trying, and i know i will be back on track soon. God bless me and my future undertakings!

The Never Ending Ups n Downs!

Lately I have been having a debate with my own mind where tons full of things keep on running in my mind and in a way making me solve things the way it is. This is what I call, time to gaze back at all the experience that we have endured. It’s good though to start gazing back and regretting it now than to grief over it later. Start gazing and pledge an oath of not repeating those mistakes.

For me, few incidents which happened in my life really have left a big impact. Still it is hurting and keeps on killing me. Even though time has passed by, the guilt and sad feeling keeps on taunting and haunting me. Darn! When I think of all those incidents I endured, I feel stupid at times for doing all that. It doesn’t make sense, but I know I HAVE did it. And there is no way of turning back time, but the one and only thing I am capable to do now is STOP it all and NEVER EVER going to REPEAT it again!

I may sound cocky but what had happen to me ever since I step into the alma mater, I have endured numerous sorts of incidents which have its own pros and cons. I do understand that life isn’t the way we wanted it to be, but it’s how you handle it the best way you can. It’s hard to get what u expected but u won’t anticipate what u gets. So puzzling aren’t it? Well life serves what it is capable of since it’s only we human plans but there is Almighty power that executes and determines the entire plan! I have endured loads of pain, and I learn that I gained a lot. Now I can walk strong and proud to say that I am what I am! That three-lettered-guy is great since he knows and he had planned earlier the entire journey I should undergo. And these have taught me to become a better person.

Some people may think that I am just bragging and doing the talk only, but one thing for sure I will prove all this. I have talked the talk and now the time for walk the walk. That was my sister’s advice every time I screw things up. Thanks to GOD for giving me such an understanding and loving family. I will treasure them no matter what.

It isn’t that I undergo only hard times in life; there are some happy moments to rejoice and cherish. All of them which contributed to my daily smile wear on my face. I know I deserve that a lot. Being loved is the greatest joy I ever experience and eventually all the human being will do especially being so pampered and loved by family members. The unconditional love of mum, dad who strictly educates about life and caring sisters, it’s a blessing. And I am living with it. Blessing from above that I do appreciate a lot. Not forgetting, friends who keep the ball rolling. Apparently, I am so gifted to have this all. So lucky to meet great souls in my life and to have the journey exciting as it is.

In everyone’s live there should be both elements combined in order to fulfill the needs of life. Same like a piano, it should consist both black and white keys to stroke in order to produce a good music. What is life if there aren’t ups and downs? All those possessions will teach us a lot in life and makes us to be a better person and meet all the need in life. I just wish everyone have a wonderful journey in life. Everything can be sorted out, so do problems in life. Just have a little time to think and executes your plan in solving problems. I’m sure all will work out. And just be happy and live with the blessing you receive from above. He knows what is best for you and when is the right time to give you what you wish for! GOD bless every each of us without fail, in return just have some time off and think of HIM, because its more than enough to appreciate Him. And before I sign off, I am really attracted to the Salem’s slogan which really sounds so true and so evident. Live Life Cool!

Why This Is Happenning?

Pretty much as i say, i really have been a jerk and abandoned this blog. i should have done something! Perhaps, i will start blogging in soon. But everytime i see my friend's blog, i feel so much engraved into jealousy. Comparing his master pieces with mine, its like the sky and earth. He is very much good in writting when i feel i am a zero. Inscrutable, aint it? But from now on, despite, the broken command of writting i have, i will try, and i will keep on trying till someday i feel my writting is up to his level. i'm not telling that i hate him for what he writes and what he is, just i am proud. And he, in a way inspires me to become better! thanks my dear fren, i will try and keep on trying.

Regards

JeopArdiZinG TruSt???

Darn, finally I manage to let my fingers do some dancing! Nothing in particular to mumble and state my dissatisfaction about but just that I feel bad whenever I see my own blog left untouched for quite a gap! Guess what? I have made up my mind, not to leave my blog unattended. Not that I am so busy on something just that I don’t have any new idea to write or mumble about.

But after a long deliberation, I think I just wanted to review my past again. Yes, this blog going to be solemnly about my past and all those mishaps that I have lead to. Something that I really regret doing and don’t wish to do it again!

It’s a puzzle for those who read this blog, but I’m very sure some of you might know what I meant with this blog. I wish I could state whatever had happen but I don’t really want that to be publicized, so let it stay myopic. Circle of trust and jeopardizing it really results in loads of unwanted incidents. I know, since I am going through it now. When I gaze back at it, I feel so foolish to do those things that I did. It really tarnished the trust that other people had on me! I am very sorry, yes, this time I mean it from bottom of my heart.

Don’t ever place something least important over trust. Because when you do that, you are actually leading yourself into loads of trouble, and when I mean trouble, a real serious one! Why on earth, I did that? Trading trust over fun! Every minute I feel like I have done the biggest mistake in my life! I have to put a full stop for it. How? The only way is to prove those things that I have promised them. I’m going to do it this time, or else I’m doomed. I know, it sounds cocky but I would not repeat those things already. I’m going to start procrastinating. I should have done this long time ago, but I am only realizing it after I have gone through hard times!

To those people that I have tarnished their feelings and trust, I’m extremely sorry and for those I am going to start to procrastinate I am sorry, but I have made up my mind. It’s not a drastic move but I have thought about this ever since those incidents happened. And this is the reason; at times I am being so quiet. I go through internal monologue whenever I am quiet. Thanks to The-Lettered-Guy, He helped me throughout this period. And every second I feel I am being closer to Him. Thanks once again dear Lord.

Okay, I think I just have bored you with my own pathetic life story, but I hope you have learnt something from my own life experience. Modus operandi of this blog, DON’T EVER BREAK THE CIRCLE OF TRUST AND TRADE IT FOR SOMETHING LEAST IMPORTANT THAN IT!! I better be off the keyboard. Till we meet again in the next blog. Thanks for spending some time to look into my blog.

Regards.

P/s: Mum, Dad, Sharma Ka and Kavitha Ka, I promise I am rectifying all those mishaps and mistakes I have done. I promise to deliver all those that I have promised. Thanks for being there throughout! Love you all to the max!

BroKen FaiTh?!

Yeah, before I mingle further into this matter, I just wanted to state out that recently, our nation is active on promoting and advertising our Rukun Negara. I’m sure most of the people out there already know the five rukun that our nation is holding on! But where is the implementation of this rukun? Apparently after knowing some fact on this matter from a friend who is studying abroad I was in concoction feelings of shocked, frustrated and disappointed. Thanks to my friend Rakesh, that he pin-pointed out an issue that had been happening in Malaysia but I was not aware of it.

Well, the matter that really bothers me to the limit is about demolishing the Hindu temples. Not only demolishing takes place but the municipal authority furthers exaggerates it by hammering the deities in the temple. Where is the faith held on? What’s the use of 1st Rukun? ‘Kepercayaan Kepada Tuhan’ stands at the edge of misinformation. What’s the use of teaching young kids on respecting on other religions, when grown up themselves, don’t practice what they preach? Contradiction occurs! And there is no one to strongly questions on the issue! Where is the justice for Indians? What else running in their mind?! Discriminating these non-dominant minorities?!

I may sound fanatic on this issue, but the truth is I am NOT. I grew up in Malay neighbourhood and was taught by my parents to respect others and their religion. If you say I’m fanatic in this issue, what’s the purpose I went to a kindergarten which was conducted in surau and madrasah? I am still baffled on where lies the faith that I have on the 1st rukun? On the broken deities? Or should I mention on the demolished temples?

I don’t want to provoke more anger in myself, I am just voicing out my opinion and frustration on this recent issue that didn’t make it into the public effectively! If I had talk or voiced out anything harshly, I am sorry, but I just wanted some answer not vague one but a very strong explanation on those happened recently.

Regards.

p/s: http://www.malaysiakini.tv/?cat=8 Please do visit to this website and have a look by yourself. I’m hurt. Please don’t let this things happen again! Voice out your opinion before it’s too late!

LoVe iS In ThE AiR...!

Love is in the air! It’s so stuffed with care and affection! Why am I saying this? Nothing much, just that I am back in my house for my semester break! A time that I was looking forward to endure! After four and half months of hectic and havoc semester! I feel so much freed from the tensed scenario as student. I may sound so gaudy about my life as a student, but trust me; I’m not, since that is what the situation that I undergo every semester!

Thank God, I could be back here and enjoy the one whole month with my family. Independence from lectures, assignments and test, all in one! A great joy!



Puzzles came into full! Happiness intoxicates me! I feel so adequate when I’m around these wonderful souls. All I receive is pure and unconditional love! I should thank the three-lettered-guy for giving me such a wonderful family to be proud of. Loving father, caring mother and beautiful sisters! Having them around me just makes me be in cloud nine. I just love them all loads! May God always bless them!

~inSatiAbLe~

Happy Deepavali

Insatiable Memories of Diwali'06

Everyone's life there will be someone that you can proudly say that he/she is your best friend. Same goes to mine, i'm proud to tell to the world that i have one that really supports me for who i am, and always stand by me throughout the hard times. I'm really grateful to that three-lettered-guy, for giving me a friend who truely understands me. What else i need from a friend? Happy moments shared together, sad moments being endured conjointly. Deepavali this year was really something that gave me and my best friend another space of time to be together, sharing our long let stories!

Just as the picture says! Its insatiable! Whenever i'm with those people in the picture, i'm lost in the ocean of emotion. Regardless of what state of mind i am. Why? Why? And why? I'm always puzzled. Wish that i could always be with them; but everything need its time off. But this deepavali, was indeed different story, another chapter reopening! All of us have parted ways, but only during this days, we really have time together! Thank God, the bond is closer tied. Deepavali is indeed prime!

Regards

Sanjay George